Two-thirds of straight women and one-third of straight men are unwilling to date a bisexual person of the opposite sex, according to a YouGov poll published today, during Bisexuality Visibility Week. The poll illustrates how lingering stereotypes negatively affect people’s impressions of bisexual individuals.
The poll — which surveyed 5,983 Britons during late March, including 2,031 straight women and 1,517 straight men — found that 48% of all respondents had positive views of bisexual people and only 8% had negative views. The remaining percentage had neither a positive nor a negative view of bisexuals.
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When the survey asked straight women and men why they were unwilling to date a bisexual person of the opposite sex, most (16% and 19%, respectively) said they “just don’t” or claimed, “It’s just a preference.”
A nearly similar portion, 17% of straight women and 16% of straight men, said they felt like bi people are more inclined to cheat, or that they themselves would feel insecure that they’d be unable to provide a bi partner whatever they get from a same-sex partner.
Interestingly, 9% of straight women said they feel disgust or discomfort towards men with same-sex experiences, 8% worried about possible sexual health risks, and 10% of straight men said they considered bisexuality to be either religiously or morally “wrong.” Approximately 12-13% of all straight respondents said they just wanted their dating partner to be heterosexual.
I remember when I was a teen trying to figure myself out I came out to my parents as gay and they were supportive. But eventually I had a couple of girlfriends and after I had brought one of them home mom told me I should pick one team and stick with it because bi guys are icky.
She said it in such an offhand way that she probably doesn’t remember, but that’s the kind of thing that sticks with you. She believed that bisexual men were willing to fuck anything without standards which would lead to me being either deranged or diseased.
Joke’s on her though: I’m so bad at picking teams I didn’t even grow up to be a man
“Pick a team” ……ugh I’m so sorry she was so flippant during such a formable time in your life.
Had a good laugh at your last line though :)
Bi people are some of the coolest people I know. Their loss, more for us.
<3
This is especially interesting when you consider that a lot of people are on the bi spectrum. Straights who think gays can “choose” to be straight? Mkay, keep telling us how you’re choosing to ignore that your gay desires.
This is probably one of the reasons for that. If you’re 90% hetero why “taint” yourself by experimenting if that’s going to limit your dating pool for the gender you’re more interested in.
Any bisexual man knows this. Painfully.
I’m a straight woman who very briefly dated a bi guy. I never cared. It felt like none of my business who he had been with before me. He was an absolute sweetheart, and I miss him dearly.
@lonefighter @velma
“It felt like none of my business who he had been with before me.”
True, that’s private stuff. Only parts of it that may be important to share are those that will objectively impact the relationship. (Stalker ex, for example.)Also to add for others, being bi does not mean having a sexual history with partners of at least two genders. It does not even mean having any sexual history at all.
I felt compelled to add this to account for bi erasure.
Really salient points, thank you!
What happen to him?
I was dealing with some mental health struggles and really horrible life events and he tried to be there for me but I ended up inadvertently taking things out on him and he quite justifiably ended things. I apologized, he forgave me, we still text every few months and are on friendly terms, but that bridge is burned forever and I’m still low key heartbroken about it because he is a good dude.
Straight guy here from /all. Unfortunately, a big chunk of my cohort will have responded favorably because they are dreaming of a female partner that will gift them a threesome.
And they, too, are engaging in biphobia with that logic.
I’ve observed this in some women’s groups over time - this aversion to bisexual men - and it’s always so disappointing to see it come up. There are women I’ve had to pull away from because of these views that bisexual men are somehow tainted or too feminine or whatever flavor of homophobic reasons they use to reject people based on an immutable trait.
There is so much internalized biphobia in our society. A lot of men sexualize bi women and think dating one means they will get threesomes. On the other side, a lot of women are convinced that bi men are twice as likely to cheat, or that they will eventually leave you for a man. And this kind of biphobia is present as well within the LGBTQ+ community, this is not inherent to straight people.
You’re right, biphobia is not found in straight people alone. I’ve been rejected within my own community because I’m bisexual and not a “gold star” lesbian. It stings even more that way to be honest.
I thought the whole point of this last decade+ is that people should take what they can get.
Oh wait, I forgot about the homophobic propaganda.
would downvote if i could. there’s no evidence that “homophobic propaganda” makes up for the people who don’t want a bi partner. i’m pretty sure that people can have their own opinions and feelings without having to attribute everything to propaganda.
What they worried they’re gonna cheat on them or something? A straight guy could do that too
My friend’s bi wife said that she had trouble explaining to an ex boyfriend that at some point she’s gonna want to have a side chick because she wants both flavours
So I suspect there’s a modicum of truth in some bi people needing more than one partner, which in a monogamous relationship is a no-go usually
At the same time, there’s so much cheating going on everywhere and I don’t think there’s any correlation between that and sexuality
Some bisexual people are poly and some are mono. Some straight people are poly and some are mono. It has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.
I am not surprised.
The narrative that women are less homophobic than men never made any sense to me, because why would they?
That claim always - to me - seemed to be stereotyping women into sacred princesses who shit rainbows and fart breeze.
I never understood the bi hate. Even before I ever met a bi person, it seemed easy to understand - they’re sexually attracted to either gender. Whether or not someone is a cheater type is completely separate and has nothing to do with it.
For real. It’s like saying people who like all hair colours are gonna cheat because their partner has only one hair colour. It’s just not how that works.
—A poly bi woman
I like all genders and all body types and skin/hair colors. Never cheated.
Where’s my parade?
Maybe its insecurity wrapped up with thinking sex is the main driver in a relationship, and thinking a partner could have twice as many options that aren’t you makes them feel even worse. I dunno.
“thinking sex is the main driver in a relationship” Yeah, this belief is too widespread. I feel for ace folks. And for aro folks too, since the same take is often made about romantic love. (Disclaimer: I’m neither.)
There are many potential driving factors in relationships. Can be sex, can be romantic love, can be another kind of love, can be trust, etc. Also, friendship is a perfectly valid kind of relationship too.
It can also be harmful things in the case of toxic relationship. Example: being convinced one’s partner will cheat because they’re bi. But as such relationships mostly bring harm, they’re best avoided. (Not easy because of psychological control/domination mechanics.)
