I just no longer believe that I have a future. Im 24. I studied a computer science degree, actually got a job… except its gonna be automated by an LLM at some point. The tools are already there.

If I lose this job, everything else in my field is just gonna be AI. Its used a lot in my job and by my coworkers… its gonna be hell to compete with AI to get a job in the area.

I think what broke me is reading about open ai generating a lean proofs for hundreds of theorems. I like maths, i wont be a math researcher, but I would imagine that killing any desire to be a mathematician professionally. I understand that maths is a lot much more then just results, but for my field it kinda is just about results. A well working feature is a well working feature.

So thats my career prospects, something i was excited about, just fucking dead. Now what? I dont fucking know. I dont wanna spend another 10s of thousands of dollars in something and for that to get automated. I have no idea at all what field i could work in as a career that isnt something in STEM. Thats where my skills are. Im happyish to do other work, but I so doubt my abilities. Im autistic af, so i have no idea how ill function in for example retail, or hospo work. I hardly function at home atm.

Now feel free to comment on whether you agree with me on my analysis on future career prospects in tech fields im just some junior, but of course main thing is how I feel about it not what I think atm.

Now theres my lack of hope from climate change, and politics. I worry a great deal. The first really crushes my hope, its such a big thing.

Politics stresses me tf out as a trans women,… i worry about getting attacked both literally, and politically. Reduced access to HRT, no legal protections in the future run in my mind. Trans people are under existential threat.

CW: Suicidal thoughts (dw, not going to do anything)

I’ll be honest, I do think about how comforting a future suicide is. Dont worry, not right now at all, I still have things to enjoy and experience in my life. Transitioning of course, making friends, seeing family, playing games. But, at this rate, I think ill be lucky to make 40, or even 30. I dont know, the future seems so bleak Im not sure if theres any point in seeing it. If i make it 40, or even idk 30 even, or something, I think at least I lived that. And if I decide to kill myself thats ok, it doesnt erase the good thats happened in my life, just like a natural death wouldnt.

Im comforted by suicide since it means i dont have to watch the world burn, and my life waste away into depression. Its also gives me control. I get to choose when to die, and if thats after all the good in my life has passed, so be it.

For now, I do have a lot to look forward to. Ive been socialising more, Im transitioning into a women, its been good. But that doesnt mean I have hope.

  • farmgineer@nord.pubEnglish
    1·
    8 days ago

    I don’t have any answers. I’m in my mid-40s and married. I’m a software engineer, but now nobody wants me to do the parts of the job I enjoy; they want me to prompt machines which I do not enjoy (and outright oppose for numerous reasons). Job market is absolute ass where I live (rural Japan because my current company promised me remote in Japan forever and then decided to change their mind). There’s nothing that really gives me hope. I nearly killed myself (as in spent several days in and out of consciousness and narrowly avoided death) when I was in my 20s. So I guess you’re not alone, if that’s worth anything.

    • im_here@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      4 days ago

      In my 30s and married. I quit my job due to a lot of reasons, but one of them being the amount of AI bullshit being pushed down our throats. Another being the amount of terrible code I had to work in, and the rate at which bad code was proliferating. It was infuriating. “Nobody wants me to do the parts of the job I enjoy” is a pretty good way of saying it, though. It’s a sad spot to be

  • garbagebagel@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    12 days ago

    I went through something very similar about 4 years ago where I finally (at the ripe old age of 28) had found a career in was excited about. It was automated, much the same as yours. I was crushed. I found other jobs where my skills could transfer. I don’t love those jobs as much, and I’m still often sad I don’t get to do what I loved anymore. It sucks. It wasn’t the end of my professional life by any means. It was the beginning of a new one.

    People often go through many career changes in their life. Last I remember hearing about it, it was like 4 per lifetime on average but that was like 20 years ago so I’m sure that statistic has changed by now. It will suck. It is not the end of the line. You will find other things to fulfill you in similar ways.

    This will sound silly but whenever I go through these directional changes, I always fall back on a couple of OG redditors that got me through back in the day (poem_for_your_sprog and motivating_giraffe).

    I had planned my first endeavour, but the world had plans for me. // I am lost, but not forever, I am where I'm meant to be.

    Penny’s collection is still up and full of other wonderful art that has gotten me through difficult times: https://motivatinggiraffe.com/gallery/