Does it matter what he wants? He doesn’t sound like relationship material to me. Enjoy yourself and tell him no if he asks for more. You don’t have to just because he wants to.

What do you “really like” about him? It’s entirely possible to love someone and not want to spend your life with him. Based only on what you wrote I don’t get why you’d want more than casual with this person.

So she still likes sex with you, and initiates it, and that is not working for you? I don’t think the not shaving is a big deal if you still can go down on her but never oral for you, if she is not bothered by doing it, is not so ok. I don’t love it but if he likes it and I tolerate it (meaning there isn’t a reason to not want to - like really noxious cum, some guys really do taste foul, or if that’s all he wanted to do, or my ex was a once a week guy so if I got him off that way I would be frustrated for another week) I would do it and be turned on by his enjoyment. That seems like a pretty normal way to feel.

Flirting to get in the mood seems a reasonable ask, and something that would work for her too, was her work suffering?

I guess I’m wondering where y’all overlap, what things do you both enjoy?

ETA: I have also unfortunately been in situations where my high sex drive was a turnoff for the guy, like he thought it unladylike or something, like the guy should be the one who wants more. Is there any possibility that’s what is going on with you? Like it’s not the shaving or whatever, you just get turned off by her asking for it?

Yeah I got the big back basket on mine, I take it to work most days and it fits 2 stuffed paper grocery bags, no problem. And is just such a pleasure to ride, I hated bike riding with the terribly painful seats and slow, so much effort, it was uncomfortable. This EBike is big & heavy but riding it is like riding a bike in a dream. Set the assist to medium, torque sensor, I like to pedal not use the throttle, because it feels so good to feel it just MOVE when I push.

Wow. I haven’t ever expected a guy to pay on a date like that. Sometimes they did, but always I would offer to split it. I never offered to pay the whole tab, but certainly didn’t expect the guy to.

I know some women who did use dates to get meals, like a game, but that seems kinda awful.

Statistically, people with e bikes get more exercise than people with regular bikes, because we are taking them to the store, to work, just more willing to use them as transportation.

Jason Isbell has such a good song about anxiety, appropriately titled “Anxiety”.

Anxiety, why do you always get the best of me, I’m out here living in a fantasy, and I can’t enjoy a goddam thing!