Every woman I am friends with have all told me that the bar for men is on the fucking ground and they still find a way to get under it. The reason why men are awful is because of the privilege that the patriarchy gives men. As a man, you have to actively reject that privilege.

I found this out when I was looking for resources on how to support a pregnant partner. Most of the stuff I found just said “listen to her and do at least some of the stuff she asks you to do”, which I thought was the bare minimum. Then I found articles that also said “don’t force yourself on her” and “be patient when she has mood swings, don’t beat her”, and I realized where the bar actually might be.

Make those at risk or on the brink feel loved and appreciated, even if you are very concerned by the beliefs they have started to take on and share. Make your boys and men feel loved and tie that feedback to simply being good people. Yes, I am saying to be less judgemental and give people a cookie for doing the bare minimum.

YMMV, but this was one of the things that turned me around.

Star Trek: Voyager. When the theme song plays, I can feel my blood pressure drop lol

Imagine fucking up so bad that you lose an election to a new movement that didn’t even have to nominate a candidate against you.

Well played, Serbia. I hope things will change for the better.

My dad used to call that gun the “coffee grinder” because it sounded like one and also did about as much damage.